The tide tables are starting to feel like scripture

I keep hand-copying the month's tide tables even though the app tells me the same thing. It started as a grounding ritual, but lately the sea feels more trustworthy than people, and I catch myself wondering what it means when a devotion turns into a compensation. Last night I dreamed the numbers on the page were washing away, and instead of panicking I felt relieved — and then ashamed of the relief.