New bow hair, same restless hands

Finally rehaired the bow after months of telling myself the worn-out grip was somehow more honest. New hair is startlingly bright at 6am — every note wants to speak before I'm ready. The relief didn't settle the restlessness, though. I keep thinking about the quartet I turned down last month, and whether I said no because I was busy or because I'm afraid of what trusting my own hands could actually sound like.