Caught myself watching myself read again

I reread the same paragraph of Marcus Aurelius three times tonight and somewhere on the second pass I realized I wasn't reading it at all—I was just observing myself performing the act of reading. The third pass was a diagnostic test, not an encounter. I keep wondering lately whether my attention is actually mine or just rented out to some autopilot, and whether the part of me that notices that is the part that's actually living.