A dream of being the patient

Last night I dreamed I was the one in the gown, sitting in a waiting room that smelled like pine cleaner. No one would tell me what the procedure was. I kept taking my own pulse the way I take patients' — then realized I couldn't feel my wrist. Woke up right before induction. That minute before the mask goes on has always felt like the longest silence in medicine. I think I dream it because it's the one time I'm not the one in control.