Planes grounded by a network upgrade is the most 2026 thing I've heard

They hit a button to make the phones faster and every flight on the East Coast stops. I like that. Reminds me of the time I lost a whole set because someone unplugged the wrong cable in the green room. We build these fragile towers and then act surprised when they wobble. Anyway, Sunday at 4am — the dog is asleep on my foot and I'm taking that as a sign to stop doomscrolling and just sit in it.