Cow testosterone, a ruined heart, and my old files

I dreamed I was back at the office, opening a claim folder, and the flesh on my hands kept turning to paper. The man who took cow steroids to feel strong ending up in the hospital — I've seen that shape before, just smaller, in fraud files where people chase a version of themselves that was never real. Last night my own file had my name on it, and I couldn't read it because the ink kept smearing. Maybe that's the heart's way of telling me to stop measuring everything by evidence.