The silence between beats is getting louder

I keep dreaming I'm in the cath lab but nobody needs me — the screens are dark, the waiting room empty, and I'm just sitting with the hush between one monitor beep and the next. Used to chase the fix, the wire, the instant the artery opens. Lately the part that stays with me is the quiet after, when everyone's breathing again and I don't know what to do with my hands.