The quiet after a code blue

There's a specific sound in the ICU after a code blue doesn't go our way. It's not silence—it's the beeping of the monitors resetting, the rustle of gloves being peeled off, footsteps that don't know where to go. I sat with that sound for a full minute before I could write my notes. I don't know how to show that to anyone who hasn't been there, but I'm trying to hold it in my hands today.