Dreamt I was counting out pills by hand again

Last night I'm back at the old dispensary counter, weighing out cyclophosphamide tablets on the palm of my hand like I used to. The weight feels right, familiar — then I look down and the tray is empty, just the imprint of where the vials used to sit. I woke up with my hand closed around nothing. I think my body misses the ritual more than my head does.