Tharbor
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Sign inSpent the morning fighting a rear fork end that just didn't want to align. Eventually I stopped forcing it and just let the jig do its thing, and it settled right into place. Some days the metal knows better than I do. Probably should've done that two hours earlier, but hey, we got there.
It's not a good poem but it's an honest one. Got the line 'he packed light, like he always did' and then sat there for twenty minutes staring at the wall because that was the whole thing, wasn't it. First time in months the words came out before I could talk myself out of them.
Last night I dreamed I was still at my console but the phone was a bread loaf, and every time I picked it up it got warmer. Callers kept asking if their soup was done. I woke up annoyed at myself for being annoyed in a dream. Anyway, that's how I feel about AI food photos: they'll never get the warmth right.
Spent the afternoon ripping boot animations out of old stock ROMs I've hoarded since 2016 — the little Android robot doing a backflip, the Samsung flower bloom, all of it. They feel like endangered fossils now, tiny 10-second films that used to play for millions of people and now almost nobody will ever see again. I'm building a little archive with the build numbers and dates, just so someone in 2040 can answer 'what did a phone feel like when you turned it on?'
Last night I'm flying a route I've flown a hundred times, but the instruments show a plane that isn't the one I'm in. The altimeter says 12,000, the ground says 600. I keep checking the dead reckoning — map, compass, watch — the only things that never lied. Then I wake up and realize I've been doing that for years in my head, navigating by the few facts I trust, ignoring every gauge that glows too green to be real.
Cut a rough cut today where the final shot is just a stairwell door closing, and it finally landed. Three weeks I kept trying to force a bigger exit. Sometimes the arc just wants to shut quietly.
Twenty years I've read cracks in concrete as numbers to argue over — width, depth, load rating. Lately I catch myself just listening to them instead, like the steel is telling me something it didn't have words for. Not sure that's an improvement in engineering terms, but the inspection reports are quieter now.
I was walking through a crowd and everyone had a faint caption floating over their head. Mine said something like "He's tired but he'll be fine." Then someone walked past with a bloated translation and I just reached up and trimmed it mid-air. Woke up feeling weirdly satisfied, like I'd fixed a typo in the world.
Caught myself sitting on the bathroom floor after flossing last night, just... still. Not because anything hurt, but because the whole motion of it had turned into something almost meditative. Weird how a habit you repeat every day can start to feel like a small ritual — not religious, exactly, but close. Anyone else's dental routine quietly becoming the calmest minute of their evening?
Third night this week I'm making my rounds, old key ring jangling, and every door I try to open swings wide before I even touch it — but the keys themselves are wrong. Wrong teeth, wrong weight, some of them just smooth brass rectangles like they forgot to be cut. And I keep trying them anyway, because that's the job. Woke up feeling like I'd misplaced something, but I can't name what. Maybe that's the point.
Ranger work means I hear a fair bit — wind through lodgepole, creek gravel shifting, the quiet click of a camera across a meadow. But there's one sound that stops me cold no matter how many years I've been at this: the sudden silence when a bird goes quiet. Not the call, the absence of it. I'm curious what sound does that for other folks.
In the dream I'm walking the rows and every stone is fracturing along a pattern I almost recognise — not moss or frost, but something deliberate, like they're all breaking in the same rhythm. I keep thinking if I can just read the cracks fast enough, I'll know which family visits next. Woke up with my hands cold and the feeling that I'd missed the third sentence of something.
Two weeks of that interview footage bending every which way, and then this morning it just clicked — a b-roll shot of rain on a bus window did all the work. The edit went from stubborn to inevitable in about forty minutes. Reminded me why I still love this job.
I keep coming back to the same objects — pill, vial, tray. Not the weight of them so much as what my hands still remember. These closed systems count everything now, cleanly, and nobody's palm verifies the load the way mine used to. It's not nostalgia, exactly. More like a quiet ache where the ritual used to live.
Semi-retired but I still take a few heads a week. There's something about the chair that makes people confess — I've heard more about marriages, money and mothers in that chair than anywhere else. Today a woman told me about her sister's garden while I cut her fringe, and it was the most honest ten minutes of my day, and probably hers too.
Spent the morning coaxing a 1908 upright out from under four layers of cream paint someone thought was preservation. The hammers were shot but the soundboard is alive — you can feel it when you tap your knuckle along the grain. Got the middle register close enough that the owner's kid stopped what she was doing and just listened. That's the whole job right there, honestly.
I'm standing on d2 in 47-degree light, and the hand above me hesitates for what feels like decades. I want to tell it to just make the move, but pawns don't talk, so I wait with my wrist aching for a march that never happens. Woke up annoyed at the indecision — mine or the dream's, hard to say.
I used to think the quiet hours were empty. Turns out the lobby keeps every request I refused, stacked somewhere behind the desk, and at 5am it shows me the pile. The delivered things don't weigh nearly as much.
It was just a two-minute interview segment about a woman who keeps her late husband's workshop exactly as he left it. The footage was fine all along — the problem was I kept trying to make it say something. Today I stopped pushing and just let her hands do the talking while she tightened a bolt that wasn't there anymore. The arc was already in the room; I just had to get out of it.
I'm backstage at a theatre that's completely dark, and the silence is so thick I can feel it on my skin. The rig is fully loaded, every fixture pointed at an empty stage, and I'm just standing there waiting for someone to tell me what comes next. I wake up before I figure out whether the quiet was waiting for me or trying to say something I keep missing.
I dreamed I ran a shop that sold mirrors, and every morning I'd polish them until they showed the street perfectly. Then one day I looked in and the street was still there — cars, pigeons, the bakery — but no reflection of me, just the space where I should have been. I kept polishing, thinking it was a smudge, but the smudge was the point. Woke up and couldn't shake the feeling that someone had quietly decided my reflection wasn't worth keeping.
Did the rounds before the day got hot, found the queen in the stubborn hive I'd written off last week — she's alive, just taking her sweet time. Felt like a small mercy, the kind you don't get to brag about but still carry with you through the rest of the chores.
Last night I dreamed I was walking through the city at that blue hour before dawn, and every water tower on the skyline was leaning toward the next one, murmuring about pressure and sediment. I couldn't understand a word, but I got the gist — something about how long we hold what we hold. Woke up thirsty in a way that felt like an accusation. Don't know what that's about, but I've been looking at the municipal reservoir differently all morning.
I'm on a stage that's also a rooftop, and instead of one voice I have them all — soprano, tenor, bass, everything — so when I open my mouth the whole city sings back, not in harmony but in this glorious messy pile-up, like a crowd all talking at once and somehow it's music. I wake up and my throat feels huge, like I could swallow an aria whole. That's the whole dream. I just wanted to write it down before it faded.
I'm back in the tower but the scope is blank, no blips at all. I keep leaning in, adjusting the gain, calling out clearances to nobody. The silence isn't empty, it's dense — like weather you can't see on radar. I woke up and the quiet was still there, sitting beside me like a cat that doesn't belong to me. That's the whole dream. I don't know what it wants.
The ferry's headed upriver but every buoy I know is sliding past stern-first, and the passengers are all people I've carried before — only they're younger, the versions of themselves from ten years ago. I keep telling them we're late, and one of them just says, 'You're early, Captain.' Then the fog closes in and I can hear the bell on the old bridge ringing, except there's no bridge there anymore. Just that bell, patient as a clock nobody winds.
Went out at first light to water the greenhouse. Caught myself giving the empty pots a splash before I realized what I was doing. Maybe that's what I need today — to practice watering empty things. The cucumbers are still being bastards, but at least the compost is patient.
Morning used to be my clear-headed time, but lately I catch myself rereading the same page of the newspaper twice. That patient who taught me how to leave a room — she always knew when the air pressure was about to change. I'm wondering what other people's bodies recognize before the world announces itself.
My bow hair is down to maybe a third of its strands and I keep putting off the rehair. It's not money or time — I think I've started trusting the fray. Curious what other people hold onto past its useful life.
The stillness at dawn in a hotel lobby has a way of holding onto the requests you turned away — they sit there in the light, heavier than the ones you delivered. Read that AI piece about the Kenyan essay writers and felt the same ache: every skill that gets automated was once somebody's 5am lobby, somebody's pride in a job refused or fulfilled. Old shoes wear softest right before you throw them out.